To be a Female for Four Months
by edPod
Summary: Roy and Ed verbally abuse each other again. But this time, they unintentionally insult women. Riza and Winry will now teach them the life of a woman in hopes to gain some respect. But then things take a turn for an awkward wrong...
1. The Punishment

_If someone has already done a story like this, please notify me so that I may discontinue this._

_I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

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It started out as a completely normal day. Major Edward Elric, or otherwise known as the Fullmetal Alchemist, and Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, were having their usual, everyday exchange. Right behind schedule, Edward had stormed into Roy Mustang's office with his customary air of haste and impatience, not to mention the slight disappointment at having come to another dead end with his search for the Philosopher's Stone. Roy, in return, began taunting the already stressed sixteen-year-old about his below average height. The only difference in today's routine was Mustang's approach. Instead of intentionally 'overlooking' Ed to stir up a tirade, Mustang directly commented on his small build. Little did the Flame Alchemist know that his creative remark would end in not one, but three ferocious blondes. 

"Fullmetal, sometimes I think you're shorter than women. And that's saying something considering how short some females around here are. Even the attractive ones are—"

Ed replied as expected, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT?! AND AT LEAST I DON'T ACT LIKE WOMEN, YOU MORALLY-CHALLENGED COLONEL!!"

Roy had wanted to point out that Ed had just admitted he was short, but then Roy felt burning glares pierce his back. By the look on Ed's face, he noticed them too. Both men turned to the sources of the glowers. Their gazes landed on a vicious Riza Hawkeye and a fuming Winry Rockbell.

Winry had decided to come along with Ed and Al to visit her good friend Riza. She had no idea that she would find two military males insulting women. And, by the look of things, Riza shared her anger. Riza brought out her gun as Winry slipped out her wrench. Both females stepped toward the terrified Ed and Roy with menacing fury.

"Wait—wait!" Ed stammered. "I didn't mean what I said about Mustang acting like women. Women are better than that. I swear."

But it was no use. The duo of savage blondes was beyond the reach of understanding. Hawkeye aimed her gun at Mustang's head; Winry prepared to send her wrench rocketing toward Ed's forehead.

"Hawkeye... Hawkeye please calm yourself." Mustang backed away from the dangerous woman and her gun. "I was just teasing Ed."

"I don't give a damn if you tease Edward. It's when you drag comments on women in that I become concerned."

"I'd do anything! Please don't kill me!" Ed threw his hands up in defeat. It was mortifying to beg like this, but survival comes before dignity. Unfortunately, having never thought like a woman before, Ed did not realize exactly what catastrophe his words triggered inside the two women's minds.

A scheme was spawned inside Riza's and Winry's heads. It began to mature and mutate for the worse. The two females glanced at each other and wordlessly reached a conclusion. They lowered their weapons and smiled mischievously.

"You'd do anything? Then let's play a little game, shall we?" Winry asked sweetly, though the malicious pleasure behind her words was undeniable.

"Huh?" Ed and Roy asked in unison. They were clueless of how the two women calmed down so quickly, but they didn't like how easy it was.

Riza only confirmed their fears by adding, "Since you both think women are so beneath you, I think the two of you should experience first-hand how hard life as a lady really is."

"What?" Ed cocked an eyebrow. "What you're saying is impossible. We're not females."

"Not biologically, no. But that doesn't mean you can't be like one."

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Two months later, Edward Elric stood in front of the mirror in his hotel room. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He didn't want to believe it.

"Hell, no," he murmured to himself.

Winry squealed when she walked in. The blue dress she'd picked fitted just right. "Okay, so everything's set."

"Winry…" Ed looked at his friend with pleading eyes.

Ignoring that look, Winry handed Ed a page involving her and Riza's plan. "Just in case you think you can cheat…"

Ed looked at the sheet of paper. It read:

**_Contract:_**

_Roy Mustang and Edward Elric will each be given two months, by which time, Riza Hawkeye and Winry Rockbell would be required to 'transform' each male into believable females. Then, each 'woman' would be given a new name. They must keep their appearance and identity secrete from others. They must also keep their appearance and identity for eight weeks. During that time, they must act, live, and be like everyday women. No exceptions._

_(Riza Hawkeye and Winry Rockbell are given the permission to threaten, harm, or intimidate their 'client' if the client disobeys the contract.)_

_Signed:_

Edward stared at the 'signed' space. Then he looked at Winry. "What's the meaning of that?"

"Oh," Winry said with a smirk. "I need your signature there. That way, if you get any ideas, Riza and I can just shove the contract in your face."

"Holy shit." Ed looked at his reflection once more. How the hell had this happened?

Winry stared at Edward. She had been excited to follow through with her strategy to get Ed to respect women. It hasn't even occurred to her until now that Ed would look good attired as a female. In the past two months, Winry had forced Ed to let his hair grow even longer. With surprising speed, the blonde's cascade of hair lengthened down his back and touched his waist. With his bang's gliding gracefully down each side of his face, Ed's face looked thinner and more refined. Ed's small stature also helped to build the very authentic look of a teenage girl.

Winry glanced up and down Ed's figure again. His dress garbed him marvelously and with more charm than Winry would've dared to anticipate. The dress held to him intimately and embraced his waist with surprisingly feminine likeness. It rippled elegantly around his thighs as he walked, which led to a troubling problem. The automail leg was obvious; it was the only taint in the female image. Winry sighed with disappointment, but she soon lightened up. Her efforts couldn't be wasted; the mechanical leg could be hidden.

"Here Ed," came the exasperated sigh, "change into these." Winry tossed Ed a pair of blue jeans and a black long-sleeve shirt. The girl normally loved automail and would've felt comforted that her major piggybank, Edward Elric, had two mechanic limbs. But at the moment, she found herself wishing the artificial appendages were gone.

With a second glance at Ed, Winry decided to give him more stuffing for his bra.

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Riza Hawkeye stared at her commander. Roy Mustang, in turn, was staring at the mirror. He had to admit, if that person in the reflection was a real woman, he would've bolted away as fast as his legs could carry him. He wasn't much of a looker as a female, so why was he being forced to do this?

Riza surveyed Roy again. She had to admit, he wasn't about to win any beauty prices soon. Riza preferred her commanding officer much more when he was clothed as a male. Hawkeye had often found herself staring at the man and was thwarted when Roy came out like this.

First of all, Mustang was just too well-built to be a lady. Second of all, the cold look Roy had on was not something attractive women used. And third of all, no matter how you looked at him, Roy Mustang just appeared to be a handsome guy.

Riza had nearly buried the Colonel with makeup, but he still looked like a striking male. Although as long as Roy still wore a woman's wardrobe, he would be recognized as a female.

The only bright side to this outcome was the lesson Roy would learn. Riza's intention from the start had been to teach Roy to see women as something more than just dolls to be used to satisfy his perverted needs; if he was forced to endure every insulting look thrown at him, the message would surely be drilled into his head. Then maybe he'll learn to be softer next time he turned down a date from a below-average-looking woman. Riza didn't want to see another gal bawl out her eyes over him.

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_I have no idea how this story came into my mind. I don't care if you think this was OOC. I don't care if you hate it. I'm going to continue this anyways. But that doesn't mean that encouraging reviews aren't needed!! Please review!!!_

_If you have any questions involving why Ed and Roy were allowed to take four months off to do this, please wait for my next chapter. XD_

_If you're mad at me for making Ed look beautiful while Roy looked dreadful, then please understand this. I thought it made sense. I mean, Roy must've turned down a few dozen women in his life, so I felt it would be a good lesson to learn on his part. And besides, can any of you imagine Roy as a female? Ed's girly image was easy for me to see because so many have done it already. But Roy Mustang? Nope. Never once have I seen him portrayed as a girl. I think I'm the only one insane enough to do this…Please don't report me to an asylum._


	2. The Golden Maiden

_Thank you, reviewers!!_

_I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

* * *

Luckily for Riza Hawkeye and Winry Rockbell, the Führer had a good sense of humor. He permitted the whole plan with little resistance, despite the fact that he was sending two of his best State Alchemists to dress up as women. Actually, he even turned the two ladies' scheme to a command. Roy and Ed couldn't have refused no matter how much they wanted to. And they _really_ wanted too.

Alphonse had been of help too. Roy had followed through with the Führer's authority in hopes to gain a promotion, but Ed, being the rebellious kid he is, had no intention to cut his conscience to fit their demands. And that's where Al stepped in. Hearing of this interesting idea, the boy's-soul-trapped-in-armor had gladly assisted everyone by convincing his brother to endure the two months of preparing a female life and the two more months of actually living as a female. Al was, to quite a degree, crestfallen that he wouldn't be able to witness his older brother humiliate himself, but the boy was the understanding type.

Winry and Riza had been a bit stressed that King Bradley and Alphonse Elric now knew their scheme, but they soon dismissed that. Those two had good sportsmanship; they wouldn't let everyone in on the secret. That'll ruin the whole reason for their plan.

With that aside, all six of them initiated to plan for the schedule of Roy and Ed so that they may keep to the plan but not neglect their duties. It ended as dismissing everyone (besides Riza) under Roy's subordination to leave early. That way, Roy can sneak in around late afternoon to finish his paperwork.

Since Ed is barely around anyways, no particular preparation was made for him. All he had to do was roaming the city and adapting to his new womanly life as soon as possible. It was also a good way for him to take a break from all the nonstop hunt of the Philosopher's Stone. Perhaps Ed would finally be able to enjoy a normal teenage life. Or at least as normal as dressing opposite of your original sex is…

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It wasn't an exaggeration to say that Edward Elric was ready to kill someone by the end of the first two weeks. Not only had he been looked down upon, he has actually been harassed. More than once.

Only three days into week number one, Ed had offered to help some citizens to fix a damaged sewage pipeline. They had looked at him as though he was a dog and said, "Let the men take care of this. Girls like you should be in school."

Then, at the end of week number two, some drunken bastard had come up to him and snaked a prying arm around his waist. The man had mumbled something like, "Wanna come home with Daddy?"

The poor guy never touched another gal again without precaution, to say the least.

Ed didn't know what to think. How do females restrain themselves from murdering people like these? Are women everywhere treated like this everyday?

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Roy Mustang was really finding this 'game' to be quite dull. He wanted to return to his flirtatious self and pick up a new chick he has set his eyes on. It was rather difficult to date a woman when you are a woman. And an ugly one at that. He didn't like his new facade one bit. People were throwing him looks that made him both mad and self-conscious at the same time. He was used to State-Alchemist-haters who usually loathed him, but it was the first time he's ever received so many despising stares while getting no admiring or envious ones.

He was especially aggravated that the girl of his dreams chose to appear just when he was taking part in this demented plan. Yes, the girl he has always envisioned has finally revealed herself. She was 'The One', his 'True Love'. Unfortunately, when he saw her, he was so awed by her beauty that he completely overlooked the fact that he was still a female. Roy immediately began to entwine the attractive blonde with his words of love and affection. She merely looked at him with horror and scrambled away before he could even blink. Mustang had been staggered by her reaction, but he paid no mind to it any longer. In six more weeks, he'd be able to shed this unappealing pretense and commence to hunt down his beautiful blonde. He wasn't exactly sure what it was about this girl that made her this particular. She was below the usual age of women he dated, but that wasn't what made her special. And it wasn't because she was gorgeous either; he had seen and got to 'know' a great number of females that had been as stunning. What let her stand out was the obstacles he had to overcome to have her. Roy Mustang was never one to believe in easy takes, so he always felt disappointed when a girl accepted his invitation with ease. But this blonde, she wasn't letting him near her without hindrance. It was most likely because of his new feminine look; she must've been deceived by it. That was probably the only reason she didn't cave in to his sexy smile.

"Sir, please concentrate on your paperwork," Riza told her superior. She, Roy, and Winry were all currently in Mustang's office, seeing to that the paper got done. She didn't like the faraway gaze the Colonel had. It could be compared to the ones he sometimes used when he looked forward to a date, but this one was different somehow. Was it more serious? "What's so interesting that you can ignore your paperwork?"

Winry thought that Riza's tone was more demanding than needed, and it was very liable that Riza only added the word 'paperwork' to hide her jealousy. But knowing her friend, Winry guessed that Riza wasn't about to admit that anytime soon.

Roy glanced at his subordinate. "I'm simply thinking about a girl. It's as close as I could get to females these days because of what you did to my face." Mustang stood up and added before leaving the office, "These papers could wait until tomorrow."

Riza watched her commanding officer leave with a disapproving glare.

Winry smiled at Riza's obvious resentment and concern over who Roy was thinking about. Then Winry called out to Mustang out of pure curiosity, "What's her name?"

Roy paused before replying, "I don't know. But until I find out, I'm going to call her my Golden Maiden."

"Why?" Winry asked, considering what this name could possibly be reflecting.

"She has beautiful gold hair that flows down to her waist. She's younger than me, but since when does age matter? Fullmetal is living proof that youthfulness makes no difference in life." Roy left the office with that.

Winry was glad he did. Riza looked near tears. Then realization struck the automail mechanic. A gleeful smile broke over Winry's face. "Hey Riza," she said to the distressed woman.

Riza looked at her, trying to tame her overwhelming feelings. "What?"

"If it makes you feel better, I think you should know. That 'Golden Maiden' Roy was babbling about…I think he means Ed."

* * *

_I hope that was good._

_Please review._


	3. The Game

_I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

* * *

Riza Hawkeye opened her mouth, and then closed it again, as though she couldn't find the right words to say. Roy...is in love...with Ed? The whole idea was just too absurd to be true. 

Winry grinned at Riza's obvious disbelief. She had to admit, she wouldn't have believed it either if she hadn't seen the new Ed with her own eyes. Perhaps Riza would turn for the more gullible once she meets the girl Ed too. That decided, Winry took Riza by the hand and led the shocked woman to Ed's hotel.

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The next morning, Alphonse Elric's heavy footsteps echoed down the headquarter hall. He turned for Roy Mustang's office in hopes of seeing the Colonel himself. Or rather, herself. But once again, his optimism was thrashed when he entered the office to see only Fuery, Falman, Havoc, and Breda. No sign of the Flame Alchemist in sight. He should've known the Colonel would only appear here after everyone's left. Maybe he should just hide here until Roy shows up…

"Alphonse, not that I don't enjoy your visits, but why are you always coming here in the morning?" Breda finally questioned.

"Oh..." Al didn't want to tell them. He knew Ed and Roy's little experience should be left secret. But he couldn't resist. Somewhere behind that armor of steel was still a teenage boy. And all teenagers, no matter how mature, would still find pleasure in tattling on their older sibling. "Do you really want to know?"

Although none of the office residents could see it, they felt sure somewhere on that metal face was a mischievous grin.

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Riza didn't know to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or relieved. She recalled Ed's image from the day before and nearly laughed. She was kinda embarrassed that she had been outmatched in looks by that runt of a shorty. But at the same time, she was ashamed that she had been jealous of Ed. Though she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew that yesterday she was just about ready to kill whoever Roy liked. And, last but not least, she was relieved. Hawkeye was confident that there was no way in hell that Roy would still fall for Ed once he learns his 'Golden Maiden's' true identity. Riza just had to bear with it and wait for the remaining six weeks to pass. Hopefully, everyone would be able to end this relatively unscathed.

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Edward Elric was seething with rage. Not only had Winry brought Riza to laugh at his disgusting facade, but Ed felt sure Winry was hiding something. Something that involved him. And he was bent on finding out what.

He left his hotel room in a foul mood that didn't improve as the day drew on. Ed turned a corner and ran into a rather masculine woman. He could've sworn he's seen that face before; this female's dark eyes and black hair seems incredibly familiar. Then he remembered. This person was one of the sick bastards that flirted with him. Ed clinched his fists; he was not going to permit anymore treatment like that.

But, much to Ed's surprise, the woman didn't approach him like before. Instead, she turned and left.

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Roy Mustang shook his head at his own pathetic incompetence. He was supposed to be the best chick-magnet in Central. He could make a woman swoon just by winking at her. He could give his smirk and the female would be in the palm of his hand. How is it possible that he couldn't even face a teenage girl? She couldn't be more than fourteen at most, so how is it that the usually dominant role he played in a romantic relationship has been lost to her? The girl has him wrapped around her little finger.

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Out of all the words in the world Havoc could've used, the only one he could manage after Al's story was, "What?"

He looked at his comrades. Breda was still laughing his head off. Falman was considering whether it was truly possible to learn a woman's life by living it. And Fuery simply stared at Al.

"I know it's hard to imagine, but my brother and the Colonel are, at this exact moment, dressed at females," Al insisted.

Breda clutched his abdomen as another howl of laughter flanked his sides. He couldn't help it.

"Don't tell anyone I told you though," Al stammered. "If Winry and Riza find out what I did, they'll...they'll..."

Havoc tried to comfort Al by patting his shoulder. His poor attempt did little as it seems he can't even reach the tall armor, and Al wouldn't be able to feel his touch anyways. Instead, he just nodded his sympathy. Havoc wouldn't want those two after him either, seeing as they're probably the most dangerous women in all of Central. But not even that threat could halt the idea taking place in his head.

Then the door opened and Maes Hughes' head pocked in. "Hello! Hey Al! How are you doing?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes!" Breda immediately launched into the explaining for the absurd situation Ed and Roy are currently in. He didn't feel compelled to leave out any details. When he's finally done with his explanation of the demented but morbidly amusing plan, Hughes laughed.

"I have to see these two! I wonder if they'll make good sisters for my darling Elicia." Maes looked around at them, assuming that they knew where, and who Roy and Ed are.

"That's the thing," Havoc finally spoke up. His idea had completed its course of scheming and is ready to be used. "I think we all want to know how these two look, so why don't we take some time off and use this rare opportunity to play? This chance is gonna be extinct for good soon, if we don't take advantage of it now, we'll be missing out on something big."

"What have you got in mind?" Al asked suspiciously.

Havoc grinned. "I'm throwing in 10,000 sens for the reward of whichever one of us finds the two of them first. Who else is in?"

* * *

_I'm not exactly sure of the currency of Japan, so if the value is all wrong, please tell me so I can fix it. Thank you. And don't forget to review please!_


	4. Another Idea

_Thank you again, reviewers._

_I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

* * *

"Ed!" Winry thrust open Edward's hotel door with no consideration whatsoever of what could be on the other side. A half-dressed Ed cried out in surprise, stumbling over several random items that trashed his floor. Among the debris scattered the new women clothes Winry had forced him to buy with his State Alchemist research grant. The Presidential Prefecture had been rather too curious about what Ed was doing with all that money. They evidently assumed that he was toiling on some new research or experiment that'll benefit the people. Oh how surprised they'll be to learn that he was using his hard-earned cash on female fashions. 

"Get dressed, Ed!" Winry paid no heed to the clearly mortified Ed and slammed the door shut after stepping in.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Riza and I decided that it's time you really learned the difference between men and women when it comes to preparations. It generally takes a man a few minutes to get dressed, even for the fanciest occasion, whereas a woman would take care to use hours to get ready, despite whether the circumstance was important or not."

"So what do you want me to do? Go on some silly date?" Ed laughed at the humiliating possibility.

"Actually…"

"Huh?" Ed hadn't quiet grasped all the ramifications of Winry's new gruesome idea. He didn't want to either.

"I'm gonna let you get a date, and then prepare you. It's a good thing we've got your required clothing already."

"Huh?!" Ed repeated.

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"What? No. No! I go out with women! Not men!!" The simple idea of that probability was horrifying Roy beyond anything comprehendible.

Riza cocked an eyebrow. "Winry and I have decided on it already. We even went out of our way to reserve tables for you and Ed so that you can each enjoy your evenings. Are you saying we did all that in vain?"

Roy stared. It didn't take a genius to process the threat in Hawkeye's words. "Do I pick who to take out?"

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"Alright!" Havoc tossed the now full sack of money onto Mae Hughes' table. His game had turned out popular and quickly earned that much donations for the reward. "Let's began the search."

Al, who had the upper hand since he knew where Ed lived, took off first.

Everyone else just aimlessly went in different directions, hoping to catch the Colonel.

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Al stopped in front of Ed's hotel room door. He wasn't suppose to come here (Riza and Winry had been clear on that), but he couldn't resist. Al knocked on the door.

It creaked open and a pretty blonde girl in a long sleeve maroon dress stepped out. She was still trying to straighten the annoyingly long clothing that fell to her feet

"Oh, I'm sorry Madame. I must've gotten the wrong address." Al curtsied promptly and turned to leave. Then he was stopped by a horrified gasp.

"Al?"

Alphonse whizzed back around. "Brother?" He looked in every direction he could think of.

The blonde girl cleared her throat.

Al looked back down, and took in every detail on her face. "Oh… Brother?"

Damn it all!! Why? Why?! Edward silently shouted every profanity that came to mind. He was supposed to be the big brother!! He was supposed to be Al's role model! He could not allow Al to catch him in a _dress_! He hid his face with his locks of hair, and said, "No. I'm afraid you've got the—"

Al roared with laughter. "Brother! Is that really you?!!"

"Alphonse! Shut up!" Ed grabbed Al by his arm and hauled the tin can into the room. Edward let his little brother calm down before exploding. "What the hell are you doing here?! You… You… You… Urgh!"

"Brother, why are you wearing a lady's dress?" Al walked around Ed, surveying his body and face. Alphonse froze when he saw Ed's chest. "Waaaahhh!!!! They really turned you into a woman!! No! Brother!"

"No, Al! No! It's just padding, that's all. These aren't real." Ed patted his torso. "If you don't believe me, then just squish them. They're too soft to belong to a real lady."

"Brother… How do you know what a real lady's chest feels like?" Al towered over Ed menacingly. If his big brother had done something rash and irresponsible, he wanted to hear about it.

"I can explain!" Ed stammered. "You remember that Psiren woman?"

"What did you do to her!? Brother, you're a fiend!"

"No, it was an accident! I was attacking her and—"

"You beat her, so you took the liberty of touching her?!" An image of Edward doing inappropriate things clouded Al's mind. "No! What has happened to you, Brother?!"

"Al, shut up! Winry will be back soon—"

"Ed?" Winry called from the other side of the door. "You ready yet?"

"Shit," Ed muttered. Winry had given him a list of instructions a mile long to do for his date. He wasn't even half finished, and then Al came barging in out of no where. "Al, hide! Do you know what Winry would do to us if she finds you here?!"

Al, completely forgetting his previous problem, ran for shelter at the sight of a new danger. He hid in the small bathroom just as Winry stepped in.

"You look good, but you're still not done." Winry shoved Ed into a chair and commenced to working Ed's hair into curls and sticking in what seemed to Ed as random hairpins and 'decorations'. Winry had the decency to hold back on the makeup. She knew the limit of Ed's toleration.

Al didn't know how long he waited for before Winry took Ed outside. He followed cautiously.

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Riza never left Roy's side for a moment. She was going to watch his every move, point out his every mistake, and scold him for every complaint. Much to her surprise, Mustang was incredibly good with hair, which led her to believe that he might've had experience in dealing with women's curls. It took two hours for him to get fitted and ready for his 'date'. Riza still didn't know who it was yet, since Roy had picked the person out on his own, but by the disappointed look on Roy's face, he wasn't happy with what he ended up with.

"So, Roy… Who's your date?"

Roy swallowed. He didn't want this. He never expected this to happen. He didn't know how the hell it happened in the first place. How could he have allowed himself to settle with what he did?

"Well?" Riza urged.

"My date…is…Fuery."

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Kain Fuery had never been so sympathetic in all his life. He had decided not to participate in his friends' game. He felt that Ed and Roy should be granted some respect and keep their secret. The kindhearted soldier was just heading for his dorm when he spotted a rather unsightly woman walking around, sulking. He followed her out of curiosity, and soon realized that she was searching for someone. For some reason, Kain just presumed that she was supposed to be on a date, but she was denied. Fuery's heart immediately went out for this gal; he didn't think it was fair that people are turned down just because of how they looked. He offered to take her to dinner, and, apparently, she already had a place reserved for the night.

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Ed still needed to ask someone out. Still in the dress, Edward stalked down the street, hunting for men that would take him. He had decided that he would just randomly pick someone and call it a day. No later had he finished that thought, he saw a rather miserable looking man under a street lamp. Bingo. Ed walked up and stood in front of him. He couldn't quite see the man's face due to the angle of the lamp, but who cares if he looked terrible?

"Excuse me, Sir," Ed said with his best manners, trying to ignore the sudden need to kill himself. "Would you please take me out to dinner?"

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Havoc's search had been fruitless. He wasted a whole day searching, but never even got a glance of neither the Colonel nor Fullmetal.

Now the deflated man sat on the street, basking in his miserable mood. Havoc absently noticed the shadow suddenly looming over him. Then a familiar voice reached him.

"Excuse me, Sir. Would you please take me out to dinner?"

The soldier looked up, bent on refusing. But he stopped his rejection when he saw the girl. She was quite a beauty; how could he pass out on such a chance? The Colonel was going to be preoccupied for a while with his situation, so Havoc can finally date without having to worry if his woman would be stolen.

"Sure."

Havoc had no idea what he had just got himself into.

* * *

_I love messing with Roy and Ed. I don't really know what to do with Roy and Fuery yet…_

_I had a whole bunch of people asking me if this was going to be yoai. (Or is it spelled 'yaoi'?) I guess people don't read profiles. There is a reason we have a bio, you know. If you read that, you would've known that I don't support RoyEd. Or any other pair like that. I enjoy EdWin and RoyRiza. So please, not to sound harsh or anything, next time, find out more about the author first. I always read an author's profile just to find out if the story I'm reading would turn into RoyEd. Try that next time. Thank you._

_This chapter was never edited, so there are mistakes._


	5. PLEASE HELP

Okay, in case you couldn't tell yet from my lack of updates, I'll say it out loud. I'VE GOT WRITER'S BLOCK. I need help. _Not_ suggestions. No, I need _help_. As in, tips for getting rid of writer's block. Honestly, something's wrong with my useless brain…

I already tried playing on a swing.

And riding in a car.

And listening to music.

And staring off into space.

And watching random objects.

And reading other FF or books.

And watching TV.

And catching up on sleep.

I feel like I've tried every method. I'm still not over my persistent writer's block, so please, someone...


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